I said in a previous Thought that my parents got a divorce on my 12th birthday. Linda read that and said, “Why didn’t they give some thought to the process and not let it happen on your birthday?”
That answer is revealed later.
What I want to know is why didn’t they apply themselves a bit more and not get a divorce?

What does the Bible say about divorce?
Suppose a man marries a woman but she does not please him. Having discovered something wrong with her, he writes her a letter of divorce, hands it to her, and sends her away from his house. When she leaves his house, she is free to marry another man. Deut 24:1-2
That is what the Law said but the reasoning behind it is another matter.
Jesus replied, “Moses permitted divorce only as a concession to your hard hearts, but it was not what God had originally intended. And I tell you this, whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery—unless his wife has been unfaithful.” Matt 19:8-9

When you break that down by number of marriages:
41 % of first marriages end in divorce.
60 % of second marriages end in divorce.
73 % of third marriages end in divorce.
In America, there is one divorce every 13 seconds. That’s 6,646 divorces per day, and 46,523 divorce per week.
The average length of a marriage that ends in divorce is eight years.
People wait an average of three years after a divorce to remarry (if they remarry at all).
The average age for couples going through their first divorce is 30 years old.
Under 20 years old 27.6 % of women and 11.7 % men divorce.
20 to 24 years old 36.6 % of women 38.8 % of men divorce.
25 to 29 years old 16.4 % of women and 22.3 % of men divorce.
30 to 34 years old 8.5 % of women and 11.6 % of men divorce.
35 to 39 years old 5.1 % of women and 6.5 % of men divorce.

Divorce has never been an option for me. I never wanted my children to feel and go through what I did.
When I became serious about a relationship I sought someone that believed as I did. I was a Christian and I sought out a Christian.
If I was seeking a Christian woman then I must want a Christian marriage. Little did I understand what that was about; even today I can sometimes allow the one marriage killer to get in the way – selfishness!

It is written submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. For wives, this means submit your husbands as to the Lord. Eph 5:21-22
For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her. Eph 5:25
Each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Eph 5:33
It is very difficult to be selfish when you’re thinking about someone else.
So why did my parent’s divorce? Selfishness.
Why was the divorce final on my birthday? Selfishness.
Why was I used as a pawn between them in the days that followed? Selfishness!
Jesus said, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me.” Matt 16:24
So it is impossible to be a real follower of Christ if you’re selfish and if neither marriage partner is selfish then there will never be a divorce.

Selfishness is a relationship killer – both spiritually and physically.