Facebook wasn’t to blame!

I don’t remember the exact reason my parents divorced since it was almost 43 years ago. (I know Facebook wasn’t to blame.)
What I remember is some bickering among them; secret meetings with whispering.
It wasn’t until my mother packed her bags, grabbed me, and moved out that I knew something was really wrong.
I was 12 years old.
For me there could never have been a good reason for what had happened.
I became a pawn in a game of marital chess; used against the one, then used against the other.
My torment was emotional and mental from the two people I loved the most.
And what led my parents to this place?
I don’t know who it was.
I’m sure both would blame the other.
Marriage cannot exist in selfishness.
It is written from the beginning that a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. Gen 2:24
Jesus reiterated the same and added so then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Matt 19:6
If both become selfish, then both no longer think of both but of one and the marriage fails; if one becomes selfish and not the other, then a house becomes divided against itself and the marriage fails.
The Bible tells us this – “For I hate divorce!” says the LORD, the God of Israel. “It is as cruel as putting on a victim’s bloodstained coat,” says the LORD Almighty. “So guard yourself; always remain loyal to your wife.” Mal 2:16 NLT
Remaining loyal to your wife means to put no other person before her, including yourself.
Selfishness is unfaithfulness and is as dangerous as adultery.
We’re also told in Col 3:18-19 – you wives must submit to your husbands, as is fitting for those who belong to the Lord. And you husbands must love your wives and never treat them harshly. NLT
I think I’ve said it before; I have no memory of my dad going to church with me. He may have but I just don’t remember it.
There was a lack of Jesus in our home.
However there is a bright side to my situation; I was determined to first find a soul-mate, someone that God had appointed for me.
I wanted our marriage to be “unto death do us part”.
And I never wanted my children to feel what I had felt in my early years.
Linda and I have a good marriage; it’s not perfect because we aren’t perfect.
We don’t fight or yell at each other; since we are one flesh why would I want to fight and yell at myself?
I can be self-centered at times, both as a husband, a father, and a Christian.
But it is not us that holds this marriage intact – it is the Lord, our third strand!
And on a cold night, two under the same blanket can gain warmth from each other. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken. Eccl 4:11-12 NLT

2 thoughts on “Facebook wasn’t to blame!

  1. I can see where our Lord had His hand on you early. As He did me. (my folks did not divorce) It does make it a bit easier to let got & let God do His will in the lives of my grandchildren. He has told me, “I got you through your childhood, I’ll get her through hers”. I would like to step in and prevent certian events, even though I know they help frame the adult comming up. I’m so sorry we have to know pain fore we can know joy / peace.


  2. Divorce was not an option for my parents. One of my uncle’s left two wives, one when he went to the store to get cigarettes, never came back. A few years later, when my Grandfather died, all our family was gathered at my Dad’s and he got into an argument with that uncle. The last thing I remember hearing my father say to his brother was, “if you ever come back here, they will carry you out in a pine box” I know the “dispute” was about his failed marriages. That made a HUGE impression on us.


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